Posted: Monday, November 21, 2016 7:00 pm | Updated: 7:09 pm, Mon Nov 21, 2016.
By Talon Staff
Photo credit Tabletmag.com
The holidays are always an occasion for quality time spent with family. You all gather around the dinner table to share jokes and stories over a delicious home-cooked meal. Grandpa Dave tells stories from WWII, Aunt Sarah complains how she can’t understand technology and crazy Uncle Mark ardently argues that Pluto is still a planet. However, we all know this year is going to be a little different.
After the election results on Nov. 8, no family Thanksgiving will never be the same. Though U.S. families have survived strange and upsetting national events in the past, this Thanksgiving will go down in history as being the most uncomfortable family gathering of all time.
Here are some ways to survive this Thanksgiving with your politically divided kin:
- No matter who you voted for, always talk about how much you love Bernie Sanders.
- Make sure not to have anything orange on the table.
- If you have to say anything at all, always start it with “Trigger Warning,” so your family knows when they should expect to be offended.
- Be sure you are able to name at least one third party candidate and how they were the only hope for America.
- If you feel things are starting to get heated, take a moment to collect yourself and sneak a quick Google search for any statistics that support your opinion.
- Be sure to cite all your facts from TheDailyLiberal.com or OccupyDemocrats.com.
- If you have a family member that’s mourning the loss of Hillary, be sure to coddle them by telling them they don’t need to worry for, “believe me,” Trump will make America great again.
- Be sure to never actually answer any question asked of you. Always talk about how the “wall” is the answer to all our problems.
- Remember that you technically love these people. Even if they are gun-hating liberals throwing out Planned Parenthood ads or if they are racist conservatives who want to deport all immigrants, they are family and you have to love them.